What is the role of a mother?

We have heard many adjectives to describe mothers: helicopter, permissive, workaholic, perfectionist, single, struggling, authoritarian, addicted, and self-absorbed. All the expectations of society can leave many new and aspiring mothers feeling pressured, riddled with self-doubt, and confused.

Today, we are freeing ourselves from the fears and insecurities of being a mother. We will love our child(ren) the best way we know how. Children are a gift from God, you a mother was chosen to bring forth child(ren), and you said YES. Thank you mothers (biological and non-biological), we honor you for saying yes… 

Yes to bring a precious child into the world. 

Yes to loving your unique child. 

And yes to let them go when it is time.

Loving your unique child

The older generation liked to say “It takes a village to raise a child.” I believe this to be true, no one person knows everything. But unlike the old days when communities raised children, nowadays the task is often left to parents and many times only the mothers.

How do we love our children so they can become who they were meant to be? 

We get insight from how Jesus was raised.

Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

Luke 2:51-52.

The text was taken from a time when Jesus was twelve years old. He went off on his own to the synagogue to teach, because Jesus knew from early what he was meant to do. Is your child eager to go off to do what he pleases? After this event, Jesus was obedient to his parents (Yes, Jesus had at least one moment when he was disobedient). Is your young child disobedient? Jesus grew in wisdom (mental) and stature (physical), and in favor with God (spiritual) and man (relational).

The perfect model is to grow our children mentally, physically, spiritually, and relationally. It is a lot of work, but you are not alone, God is with you. He knew what he was doing when he chose you, trust him and lean not on your own understanding. He will fill the gap in his time.

Remembering my mother 

I remember always having a warm meal before going to school. The first school I went to was close to home and I remember walking home during lunchtime to drink my cornmeal porridge that you prepared. On Sundays, I recall all the preparation in making dinner, rice and peas and whatever delicious meat, refreshing drink (I distinctly remember carrot juice with milk), and dessert, cornmeal or sweet potato pudding or fruit cake that you baked. 

I remember you helped me learn to spell so I could win my class’s spelling bee competition. You got me all the textbooks plus additional books. You helped or got the help I needed so I could always do my homework. You showed up to all the parent-teacher meetings. I was a teacher’s favorite in almost every class. You permitted me to attend every school trip and so much more. It felt so commonplace then, that I took it for granted how much love you poured into me as a child. I know now that it was not easy. I honor you, Mom.

Me and my mom at one of my birthday parties

My mother and her grandson (my son), NYC

My mother played her role well. She said yes to bringing me here, loving me the best the way she knew, and let me go so I could become. She took care of my physical needs and fostered my love for learning (physical and mental growth). Whatever role she was unable to play, God in his wisdom provided through others or by himself. 

My non-biological mothers

Many wonderful women contributed and are still contributing to my growth in various areas. To all the mothers in my life, I honor you. 

Jesus filled the gap

Whatever was missing in my life, Jesus filled that gap. Jesus leveled the playing field so I would become. I had to trust him (in good and bad times).

It doesn’t matter what was/is missing in your life. Jesus can fill it so you can become who he created you to be.

I implore you to release all blame or malice you may have with your mothers. They did the best they could with the knowledge they had.

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord

your God is giving you.

Exodus 20:12