Are you struggling as a parent? Me too, sometimes.

I love this picture. Everyone seems happy. We took this picture on Mother’s Day. What this picture doesn’t show is that I had to leave church early because my children were very restless—running and making noise. We went home and they slept for hours.

I got to rest. On this Mother’s Day, I appreciate the flowers, but as a mom of two sensitive kids, I wanted uninterrupted rest.

What is Wrong with My Child?

If you are like me, you’ve probably asked this question before when your child doesn’t do what you ask them, when they have an answer for everything, or when you are speaking to them, and they seem to be staring into space.

Probably nothing!

Although, a child may have autism or ADHD which mean they require professional help.

The real question is, “What happened to my child?”

The day before, I went to a work event, and they stayed home with Dad, who allowed them to watch the tablet all day. They loved it, and they were quiet. But for highly sensitive children or any child, according to studies, excessive screen time can harm their thinking, linguistic, and social-emotional growth and lead to unpleasant behaviour. I say excessive here, because moderate screen time of certain programs can have benefits such as improve education and learning.

Who Am I?: Understanding the Highly Sensitive Child Personality

High sensitivity is a trait found in one out of every five people. It is not an abnormality. Highly sensitive children and adults process information more deeply; they notice more in their environment and reflect more. Therefore, they tend to be empathetic, smart, intuitive, creative, cautious, and thoughtful. If you have a child who is “gifted” he is probably also an HSC. Dr. Elaine Aron discovered this trait and has a comprehensive book.

Why Does Raising HSC Feels So Difficult?

Raising HSCs can be challenging. They can be very shy, opinionated, fussy, and anywhere in between. Being shy or opinionated are not innate qualities. The child learned these characteristics based on their environment. When we are ill equipped with the socio-emotional and mental capabilities to navigate the complexities that comes with an HSC, we can cause more damage than we realize. According to Dr. Aron, the meltdowns are not a problem. We ought to allow them and then address the issue skillfully afterward. But do we have the skills? She further noted that she is more concerned if the HSC doesn’t throw tantrums or have meltdowns, as these HSCs have learned to hide their feelings, without an outlet (writing, dancing cooking, anything creative) these behaviours and even more unhealthy ones will surface later in adulthood. 

How to Help Our Highly Sensitive Children Thrive

My two-year-old has a tendency to take something from her brother and say, “It’s mine,” and then her brother will complain or try forcefully to retrieve it without success. However, I noticed that if we allow her, she will later return and easily give it back to her brother without him needing to force her. What does this mean? Whether it’s a toy, screens, or a habit we want to change in our child, allow them for some time with some restrictions, but with a gentle warning. This may seem counterproductive. Harsh punishment doesn’t work with HSCs. If the behaviour continues, we will need to place this child in a leadership development program that focuses on the spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, and social aspects of the child. This has to be a tailor-made program as each child is different and will need specific requirements. 

Interestingly, these behaviours—“It’s mine,” meltdowns, outbursts, and tantrums—may also show up in adults, and the solution is similar: help them achieve their dreams along with a personal development program.

HSCs can thrive and reach their full potential

Raising a highly sensitive child comes with its own set of challenges, but understanding and nurturing their unique traits can lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life for both parent and child. With the right approach and resources, we can help our HSCs thrive and reach their full potential.

This post was read and approved by Aziel.

Love

Sanch