Some years ago, I read a book that quietly yet profoundly shifted how I saw myself, others, and the world around me. It was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. At its core, the book invites us to examine our unconscious agreements with ourselves, others, God, and life.
He lays out four principles:
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take anything personally.
- Don’t Make Assumptions.
- Always do your best.
These may seem simple at first glance, but as I began to live them out, everything started to change. Let me share how.
What Are We Saying to Ourselves and Others?
After reading The Four Agreements, the first principle impacted me the most: Be Impeccable With Your Word. I started paying attention to the words I spoke—not just aloud, but also the ones I whispered to myself in moments of fear, doubt, or frustration. I realized how easily I criticized myself or others, even when it was wrapped in humor or “truth.”
A shift was evident almost immediately. As I changed the way I spoke, my thoughts began to change too. My relationships became healthier, and I experienced a deeper sense of internal peace. I even moved to a new country to pursue a long-held dream. Now, many steps and seasons prepared me for that moment (more on that in this book), but looking back, I realize that transforming the way I spoke—to myself and to others—was the final piece that brought it all together.
But this idea wasn’t new; scripture had been pointing us in this direction all along:
“Let the weak say, ‘I am strong.’ Joel 3:10
The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings. Proverbs 18:21
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up. Ephesians 4:29
The Bible teaches us to speak life over ourselves and others. Yet, so often, especially in cultures where insults, gossip, and sarcasm are normalized or even praised, we do not realize the harm our words can cause. Whether speaking negativity as “truth” or internalizing limiting beliefs, we must become intentional with our words.
There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him. Mark 7:15
What If It’s Not About Us?
The second agreement states: Don’t Take Anything Personally. Now, this is easier said than done, especially when people hurt us intentionally. So I asked myself—how can I not take something personally when it feels so personal?
Here’s what I learned: we act out of our wounds, fears, and insecurities. What people do reveals more about them than it does about us.
As someone with a sensitive personality, I often feel emotions deeply, and forgiveness was tough. However, holding onto offense only poisoned my heart. I realized it wasn’t worth it. The hurt was real, but I couldn’t allow it to define my identity.
I had to release people to God—the only true Judge—and focus on my healing. Interestingly, that was when my dreams started to become a reality again. Just before a dream is manifested in my life, something occurs that easily causes me to feel offended. Try not to take the bait! Taking on offense derails dreams and keeps us stuck.
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11
Are We Making Assumptions?
Agreement Three: Don’t Make Assumptions.
We’ve all been there- making snap judgments, interpreting someone’s silence as anger, or assuming a tone in a text message. One assumption leads to another, and before we know it, we’re constructing stories that may not be true. Hello anxiety, be still.
How many times do we find ourselves pulling away from someone because we assumed they didn’t like us? But when we finally spoke, we realized they had been dealing with something deeply personal and had no idea we were feeling that way. We were both hurting in silence over something that could have been cleared up with one honest conversation.
Communicate!
Ask questions!
Listen! (with grace)
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, James 1:19.
Are we making assumptions about God?
Have we assumed that because something hasn’t happened yet, it never will? Have we interpreted delays as denial? If God has made us a promise, He will fulfill it. He is not a man who should lie. Are we the ones hindering ourselves because of unbelief and a limiting mindset?
On the other hand, is God our genie? Is life about getting our selfish desires?
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? James 4:1.
Are We Doing Our Best?
The fourth and final agreement: Always Do Your Best.
This one made me pause. Was I really doing my best or just enough to get by? Was I making myself small because I was afraid of failing? Was I dreaming of starting something new while convincing myself I couldn’t?
Doing our best doesn’t mean perfection; it means making an effort, showing up, and pushing beyond our comfort zones—not just for accolades, but for growth. Whether it’s taking that course, learning a new skill, or simply giving our best where you are right now—do it. We never know how God will use it.
In addition, are we also wishing others the best? Sometimes, when we’re not fulfilling our own dreams and purposes, it becomes hard to cheer for someone else’s. However, your growth doesn’t subtract from mine or vice versa. There’s room for everyone. No need to compare or be envious. There is no lack!
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. John 14:6
Are We in Agreement With God?
These four agreements can genuinely reshape our lives—but they become transformative when they align with God’s truth. His Word invites us to deeper healing, greater clarity, and divine purpose. Are we studying the Word?
So here’s a gentle question: What have you been saying yes to?
Fear? Doubt? Limitation?
Or faith, love, and freedom?
Every day presents an opportunity to establish a new agreement—with God and ourselves. Let us ask Him to reveal what should be released and what ought to be reclaimed.
We are not too late. We are not too broken. We are still worthy of the dream.
Let nothing impede our growth. Agree with the truth. Agree with healing. Agree with the dream.
With love and growth,
Sanchia and team💛
About the editor
Liset Maldonado Alvarez was born in Cuba and migrated to Canada two decades ago, embracing every opportunity to grow academically and professionally. She holds a PhD in Chemical Biology from McMaster University (MAC) and consults as a reviewer for an Artificial Intelligence (AI) company. A former competitive fitness and figure athlete, Liset spent eight years earning numerous awards, showcasing her dedication to health and athletic excellence. With nearly 20 years as a personal trainer, she combines her passion for science, fitness, and nutrition to help individuals achieve their best shape at any age. She is also the author of Leaner and Stronger: Train Your Brain to Stay in Shape, a weight loss guide that shares evidence-based strategies for lifelong wellness. She is married with one son. Connect with her here and on instagram @bluediamond.estudio!