Are you a problem solver or problem finder?

We just celebrated one of Americas biggest holidays, Thanksgiving Day. While we should always be thankful, I appreciate a day set aside when families get together. This year a few family members from far and near gathered and we had a wonderful time. But just hours after a fun-filled evening, I began to analyze. I had to examine my thoughts, as I started to feel mentally and emotionally drained. It appears that I was fixated on problems rather than thinking on the positives. I wrote in my journal I need to become a positive thinker.

What do you focus on?

When my son comes home from school, I usually ask him, how was his day. My son claims to be a mathematician so the answer sounds like this “it was 99% bad and only 1% good.” Almost every day, a different set of numbers with the bad being the greater (I wonder where he got that type of thinking?). I would listen as he recounts why he came up with these values and by the time he was finished I recognize the very common trait– he was finding the problems in his days and focusing on them.

Think about it, what do you think or focus on? Do you always find fault or criticize the people at work, your relationships, a book, a plan, an event, or a dream (an idea)? Or do you find the positives or good?

Are our minds prone to think negatively?

Yes. Psychologists call focusing on the negatives or problems the negativity bias. Research suggests that the negativity bias provides an evolutionary advantage. In the past, it was more useful for our ancestor’s survival to avoid pain or hurt than to pursue a decision that would promote growth. In other words, we get stuck on the negatives, and it becomes our comfort zone.

Become a solution-oriented or positive thinker

A solution-oriented or positive thinker seeks a positive solution in every situation. This person is content regardless of the circumstances. I see Paul, the Apostle as a solution-oriented or positive thinker. After his conversion, Paul suffered many persecutions; he was beaten, imprisoned, shipwrecked, bitten by a viper, Acts 20-28. Yet, Paul preached the gospel without wavering. He also wrote about half of the New Testament books in the Bible including Philippians which is considered the happiest book. Paul says I have learned to be content in all circumstances. Philippians 4:11-12. We can learn to become positive thinkers.

Identify the cause of negative thinking

After I examined my thoughts that evening, I recognized that I was overanalyzing the situation. I was going over every detail, making assumptions, taking things personally, and trying to control things. This causes worry and anxiety. What do you do after an event, a conversation, a confrontation, or setback?

Pay attention to how you think. Do you worry, gossip, complain, go to social media, or mindlessly watch the news or TV (no judgment)?

At first, you may get some temporary relief while mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds. You may think you are more aware by watching the news all day. But what positive information are you feeding your mind to combat all the negative you have consumed?

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23 NIV

Another translation says:
Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. Proverbs 4:23 GNT

Renew your mind

When I overanalyze a situation, I can easily get caught up in my perception of the world. But things are not always what they appear to be. And my perception is not the only one. Get an understanding. You do this by seeing other perspectives of the situation. Reading and studying the Scriptures (The Bible) gives you God’s perspective. It also feeds your spirit and renews your mind. Don’t just read it, do what it says. You will begin to think and see the world differently. Allow God to transform your mind into a solution-oriented or positive thinker.

 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2.

Develop new habits

When we know our negative habits, we can replace them with positive ones. We may think we can stop thinking negatively, but it is not that easy, especially when you are tired or stressed. To stop a habit, you should replace the old one with a new one. Here are a few good habits, but you can find healthy ones that suit you.
Pray
Read uplifting books (your Bible).
Write and say affirmations.
Be grateful (have a gratitude journal)
Develop healthy hobbies
Learn to be still

Think on these things

Make it a habit to think about positive things or savor positive moments.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Philippians 4:8

See the possibility

Seeing the possibility is more for future events and decisions. Remember how my son kept thinking he had a bad day? I told my son to imagine the best day at school in the mornings before he leaves. Next, I asked him to tell me how that day would look (we add and subtract because it would be about playing all day). I explained that even if he has minor issues, it can still be considered a great day (100%). Since that talk, he gives me a thump-up and says he had good or ok days. One evening before I asked, he blurted out, “Mom I had a great day! I have good news and excellent news!”

Music to my ears.

Begin to train your mind to see (imagine) the favorable possibilities instead of what has gone or could go wrong. This too requires practice.

Imagination is God’s gift to us. What do you see?

William Authur Ward says, “If you can see it, you can achieve it.”

Believe.

For with God nothing will be impossible. Luke 1:37

Becoming a positive thinker requires some mental work and a lifestyle change. If we are disciplined to maintain this lifestyle of positive thinking despite our circumstances, we will reap amazing results as displayed by Paul the Apostle.

How do you develop or maintain a solution-oriented or positive mindset?