I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalms 139:4

Ever wondered why you love certain things or react the way you do, or why life’s demands sometimes leave you feeling drained and overwhelmed?

I love to write, read, think reflectively, meet new people and experiences other cultures.

My Peruvian cultural experience, Lima, Peru

I love attending events and amusement parks.

At Adventureland, NY

I love the sciences, arts, and theology.

I dabble in my pass time, this piece is called “The gift.”

However, in the past weeks I was exhausted as I was striving for perfection in my work. It cost me precious moments like celebrating a friend’s award and even missing news of an earthquake in Jamaica. Overstimulation seems to be a common theme in my life, but it wasn’t always clear why. It wasn’t until I learned about the concept of being a highly sensitive person (HSP) from God during my quiet time, that most things started to make sense.

Understanding Your Unique Personality

The highly sensitive personality is not a disorder but rather a distinctive trait found in around 20-30% of the human population. It means that we have a heightened ability to process and absorb information about our experiences and surroundings. This heightened sensitivity makes us more susceptible to both stress and positive experiences. So, what are some key characteristics of the highly sensitive personality?

1. Strong Emotional Reactions: our emotions tend to be more intense, whether it’s joy or sadness.
2. People-Pleasing Tendencies: we often find ourselves going to great lengths to please others.
3. Deep Reflection and Overthinking: we tend to overanalyze things and worry.
4. Sensitivity to Sensory and Social Stimuli: we are easily affected by our surroundings, including noise, light, and the emotions of those around us.
5. Keen Perception: We have a knack for picking up on subtle details and nuances that others might overlook.

Other characteristics that affect some HSPs

6. Difficulties with (pressure from) work or study
7. Creativity and a greater quantity of ideas
8. Hard work and perfectionism
9. Rich inner world (thinkers and dreamers)
10. Spirituality

Based on these attributes we do well in certain careers such as the sciences (careers that require analytical and research skills), academic, care profession, clergy, IT profession, business, and anything that requires creativity. The downside is that we tend to be people pleasers and work very hard as we aim for perfection, which leaves us mentally and emotionally drained.

Understanding our personality is a gateway to comprehending our unique structure, including our strengths, weaknesses, passions, natural abilities, and life experiences spanning childhood, school, work, and personal life. Knowing our structure helps us in how we should function in the world.

Why Do HSPs Feel Misunderstood?

Being an HSP sets us apart from the typical personality traits defined by psychologists, known as the “Big Five” traits:

1. Openness: This trait involves being open-minded and curious about the world.
2. Conscientiousness: It encompasses organizational skills, reliability, and a preference for order.
3. Extraversion: Extroverts are outgoing, assertive, and sociable.
4. Agreeableness: Friendly and compassionate.
5. Neuroticism: This trait includes experiencing sadness, anxiety, and emotional instability.

Although, the behaviors associated with these Big Five traits can be learned, it is important to know that they are not innate for HSPs. However, studies have shown that the traits from the Big Five that is mostly associated with HSPs are openness and neuroticism. Also, the attributes of these traits may vary if the sensitive person is a child or an adult.

As HSPs, we feel more deeply than others whether the situation is positive or negative. In a positive or well supported environment HSPs feel more excitement and joy than non-HSPs. but research indicates that most HSPs will experience more negative emotions than non-HSPs under stressful conditions.

How Negative Experiences Affect HSPs

Our experiences play a significant role in shaping our personalities, especially for HSPs. We are highly sensitive to life events, and negative experiences can have a profound impact, such as:

• Abandonment 
• Abuse
• Emotional neglect as a child
• Losing one or both parents
• Growing up in poverty
• Bullying
• Rejection

These experiences can deeply influence our behavior and choices throughout life.

How Our Personality and Experiences Shape Our Dreams

Many of our dreams and aspirations are rooted in the experiences we had growing up. Our strong desire to avoid repeating the  negative experiences usually drives us. This drive can lead us to pursue what we perceive as success, whether it’s a particular career, a specific lifestyle, or financial security. In some cases, we may even resort to extreme measures, including illegal, immoral, or manipulative actions, to attain this success. The result can leave us feeling empty and unsatisfied, even if we achieve our goals.

Thriving as an HSP

Our careers and past experiences does not define us. Success in life goes beyond external achievements. Understanding your unique personality as an HSP is one piece of the puzzle to thriving in every aspect of life. This understanding can inspire positive changes and personal growth.

If you’re seeking guidance and support on your journey of self-discovery and transformation as an HSP, consider working with a consultant and life coach like me, Sanchia. I’ve walked a similar path, and I specialize in helping sensitive individuals thrive in all areas of life, see my transformation story here. My experiences as a scientist, a care professional, an academic, and business owner in various countries have given me a unique perspective. Visit my website for more information and sign up for a consultation. Together, we can unlock your full potential and create a life that truly resonates with your personality.