Do We Really Want the Dream?

In June, I felt the need for a fresh start. What happened were detours and disruptions that initially seemed like a nightmare when the dream tested us, but ultimately turned into a reordering that provided insight to pursue future dreams. Sometimes, when our lives are disrupted, it’s a test to lead us to the dream. Do we genuinely want the dream?

In my book, I discussed when the dream tests us. We are experiencing spiritually intense times. It is not business as usual. The things we say and do have serious consequences, and we need to stay alert and sober-minded. But God is gracious and good; no one is too far gone to be saved. Will we accept the gift?

I remember just before I left Jamaica to go to Canada to pursue the dream of earning a PhD, my life was chaos. I was robbed, involved in a car accident, and betrayed by someone close to me. It felt like a string of bad luck. But after everything settled down, I was living the dream in Canada.

Our dreams will test us. During this time, people will betray us, we will experience loss (whether forced or voluntary), and we may even self-sabotage or sabotage other people if we are unaware. Do we truly want this? Or will we get stuck trying to understand why? 

The damage has already been done. What can we do now?

Have We Given Ourselves Permission to Grieve?

Grieve.

Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning. 

Grieving is a personal experience that varies for everyone, and there are no set times for it to occur. Take the time you need to process your emotions; there will be many! Cry or bawl if you must. At this time we are usually vulnerable and we may want to attach ourselves to others. Be careful at this time.

God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Seek first the Kingdom.

Pray and fast. But if that feels like too much right now, which is understandable; I find that singing, reading the Psalms, sharing my story, and being around supportive value aligned people helps. But at some point we need to go back to God and seek Him, He knows us best. God alone is enough.

John Maxwell says, “The dream is free, but the journey isn’t.” We must be intentional in our growth. 

Every dream requires the right people, right time, and right place. I knew God gave me the dream; it was finally the right time, I was in the right place, but who were the right people? At this moment, people started approaching me with negativity. At first it wasn’t obvious but I learned discernment from a past season and continued to live out my core values of kindness, forgiveness, and compassion.

In a previous season I was impulsive because I was deeply hurt. Instead of grieving, I tried moving on quickly (the hustle mentality), knowing that to move upward, we have to let go. Letting go of relationships can be permanent, and sometimes it’s temporary; we need to keep the big picture in mind and move with discernment. 

But most importantly, protect our hearts, because everything we do comes from it. 

Have We Guarded Our Hearts?

Back then, I did not guard my heart, I was hurt by people close and dear to me, and I began to unravel inside, but I still managed to show up with a smile. I didn’t realize the extent of the damage. Soon, I stopped praying, I stopped writing, and I got sick more often. My dream of becoming a consultant and life coach was also gradually fading. Maybe that’s not what God wanted for me, I thought. 

What Version of Ourselves Are We Becoming?

Then a friend sent me a job vacancy; I believed this was what God wanted me to do because He often uses those close to us to bring new opportunities. So, I applied for the part-time position as I was gradually returning to the working world. I got the job, and initially, it was okay. I started spending more time with friends and our kids. But I wasn’t writing! I lost sight of who I was at my core! I even forgot about my husband although I was there in person! Despite things seeming to be going well at the job (I was getting paid), I wasn’t truly growing. Professionally, I felt like I was going in circles, stuck. I was functioning as a lower version of myself. And the sad part was that I wasn’t even aware of it.

What is the problem?

Then the kids and I went to Jamaica for a short vacation. When we returned, all hell broke loose in our home. Feeling exhausted from everything that had happened, I forgot everything I had learned in the previous three years. Said things that should have never been said. Before leaving for Jamaica, I already felt worn out. When I came back, it was even worse, and fear was now added to the mix. During my PhD studies, I faced many fears but worked through them. Once again, I was overwhelmed by intense fear that weighed heavily on me. I was forced out of my comfort zone and thrown into the deep end. I had to pivot and adapt quickly to the situation despite my fear and exhaustion.

Are You Ready to Use Self-Love to Realign?

What I had struggled to build over three years with little success, I managed to reconstruct in a few weeks and finally see the results! During this period, I practiced self-love that transformed me from being independent, fearful, exhausted, and unforgiving to being interdependent, confident, relaxed (moving through life at a much slower pace), and loving. Throughout that time, I kept working, not in a job, I left and returned as a volunteer, and even earned a promotion. I relaunched my life coaching and consulting business. I also became financially independent and growing! In the face of uncertainty, we can certainly turn pressure into power. 

And I found my people! God delivered me to people who spoke my language (that of the Word), values and mission aligned (doing the Word)! Know that our people don’t need to be in the same place as us, but they support our work indirectly.

Now, I will show you how to use genuine self-love to achieve alignment. Join us on this journey as I share my stories, and invite you to join in too as we break cycles and reach our full potential through transformation, thriving, and growth.

With grace and growth,

Sanchia and team.

Audio version

If you would prefer the audio version, you may listen here.