Humility is one of the most important virtues we can develop. It is the pathway to truly knowing God, understanding ourselves, and relating well to others.
I see this lesson beginning even with our children.
Our three-year-old daughter wants to do everything on her own. “I will do it!” is a phrase we hear often. And we encourage it. Independence is a normal and healthy stage of childhood. Yet, she is aware when she needs help and asks for it.
Are we aware when we need help, and do we ask for it?
My “Miss Independent” Years
In my teenage years, I assumed the identity of Miss Independent.
I did well in school, and my teachers liked me. However, when other students asked for help, I often told them to read the material because it seemed easy to me.
Looking back now, I realize that attitude probably did not make me very likeable or approachable.
The truth is that I knew how to do the work and get good grades, but I did not think I was good at explaining things to others. Instead of helping, I dismissed them.
You could say I had a haughty spirit. Not very humble at all.
Even though I did well academically, something was missing. I knew I could do better, but it required something I did not yet understand:
Humility.
At that time, I believed I knew nothing. That mindset is one of the reasons I pursued a PhD. I thought I simply needed to study more and learn more.
What I understand now is that I had a natural ability to learn and absorb knowledge.
I see similar traits in our children.
The problem was that I assumed everyone else was like me. If something was easy for me, I believed it should be easy for everyone else.
We do this sometimes, because something comes naturally to us, we assume it should be simple for others.
Since no one confronted that mindset during my childhood or teenage years, it followed me into adulthood.
I was prideful.
But I didn’t know it.
What Is Humility?
The Britannica Dictionary defines humble as:
- Not proud
- Not thinking of yourself as better than others
- Not high in rank or status
- Not fancy or extravagant
Humility, therefore, is the quality of not thinking we are better than other people.
However, the biblical definition of humility goes deeper.
Scripture often connects humility with the fear of the Lord—a reverence and submission to God.
Several scriptures highlight how God views humility:
“Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor.”
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
“God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
“What does the Lord require of you? To act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.”
“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”
From these scriptures, one truth becomes clear:
Humility is necessary if we want to know and submit to the will of God.
Believing that God exists is one thing.
Allowing Him to be Lord over our lives requires humility.
The Greatest Example of Humility
When I think about humility, the first example that comes to mind is Jesus.
Jesus is God incarnate, yet He humbled Himself by entering the world as a baby, born to simple parents and in a barn.
He lived in a small town called Nazareth. People questioned it:
“Can anything good come from Nazareth?”— John 1:46
Jesus prayed, fasted, and surrendered His will to the Father:
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
From a cultural perspective, this does not seem logical.
If the King of the universe were coming to earth, wouldn’t we expect a palace? Wealth? Status?
Instead, Jesus emptied Himself and took on the nature of a servant.
He made Himself low.
This is humility.
What Humility Looks Like in Our Lives
Dependence on God
Today’s culture encourages independence:
Be yourself.
Do it yourself.
Be authentic.
But the truth is that we cannot truly know ourselves apart from God.
He created us. We did not create ourselves.
Our identity is not defined by culture, trends, or opinions. We are who God says we are.
Discovering that identity requires surrender and dependence on Him.
This can feel difficult in a culture that celebrates independence. As children, we learn independence—and that is healthy—but as adults we must learn the opposite:
Dependence on God.
Because only God knows what the future holds.
When God begins revealing who you truly are, the journey can feel intimidating. On our own, we cannot become the person God is calling us to be.
He shapes us into His character.
And that process often includes testing.
Scripture reminds us:
“Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
Stay connected to God and endure.
Staying Connected to God
But what does it really mean to stay connected to God?
It means living out the values Jesus modeled:
- Kindness
- Forgiveness
- Compassion
- Community
- Growth
These are the values that help us stay connected to God and to the people He places in our lives.
Understanding That Life Is Not About Us
Humility also means recognizing that we need people.
God often works through others, sometimes through people we least expect.
The world promotes independence, but Scripture warns:
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”
Our gifts and callings are not just for us. They are meant to serve others.
Remembering that keeps us humble.
Sometimes God uses certain people in our lives for a season. At other times, He removes them so we learn to depend on Him.
Ultimately, God directs our steps.
Trusting God’s Timing
Humility also requires trusting God’s timing.
Many of us have big dreams and goals. Sometimes God even gives us a vision for the future.
But when things do not happen as we expect, frustration can set in. Try not to take the bait.
We may believe certain people should help us.
We may believe things should happen faster.
But God sees our beginning and our end.
He knows what lies ahead and prepares us for it.
Waiting requires patience, a virtue many of us struggle with in a fast-paced culture.
But humility allows us to relax and trust God’s process.
Living a Humble Life
Jesus said:
“Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
This means letting go of what we think we know and allowing God to shape our lives.
When I committed my life to God, I placed my plans in His hands. At first, I still held on to my sense of independence. But little by little, God began to chip away at it.
Sometimes we fall back into old mindsets. We go back and forth between trusting God and trying to control things ourselves.
But God calls us to live with one heart and one mind toward Him.
The enemy seeks to divide and destroy, but Jesus came to give life and to give it more abundantly.
When many of my plans did not work out the way I expected, that is when I began to understand something important.
Planning is still good.
In fact, planning can be an act of faith.
But believing we control the outcome is not.
Humility means planning while still saying:
And that posture of surrender is where true transformation begins.
with love and growth
Sanchia and team.
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